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Wahad

Ask Wahad Whatever

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Move over on that bandwagon guys.

 

Another European here (Netherlands). Aside from writing, I love love love to cook (and eat). Conversely, I hate bad food. Other areas of interest are martial arts, worldbuilding, languages, and usually I focus on fantasy when it comes to writing, though recently I enjoy urban/modern fantasy alongside typically "medieval" fantasy as well. When it comes to music I mainly listen to metal and jazz, but the odd song or band here and there that won't fit in those genres will still entertain me. TV-wise, I watch a bunch of stuff, too much to list really but my favorite current show is Running Man, a Korean variety show.. Same with books, and my favorite book is probably Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. The occasional anime or manga as well, currently watching Silver Spoon and Attack on Titan, and reading the mangas of those, as well as Assassination Classroom and Vinland Saga.

 

So have at it. Let me know what you want to know.

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I just wanted to come say I love your avatar. I very much enjoyed Hannibal!

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I'm sure Hannibal would very much enjoy you.

 

I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK, FOLKS

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liked so i could unlike it

 

 

 

only to like again

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I just wanted to come say I love your avatar. I very much enjoyed Hannibal!

Amazing show. Amazing actor. Hannibal and Casino Royale, two best roles i've seen him in. So good.

And btw Wahad, Neil Gaiman is incredible. I love all his stuff but I especially love anything with Lucifer or Death in it, two great characters that have influenced many stories i've written in one way or another. 

So my question - Gun to your head, you must get jiggy with either - Megan Fox's body with Leonard Nimoy's head or Renee Zellweger. To highlight the difficulty of this choice I will provide you with some pictorial aids:

 

Choice No.1 -

Face - http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10600000/Leonard-Superior-Pics-Shoot-leonard-nimoy-10606720-688-550.jpg

Body - http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Megan-Fox-Maxim-July-2007-01.jpg

 

Choice No.2 -

http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/afpx_fpx62308r_zellweger3__oPt.jpg

 

 

I know, it's a difficult choice, some might prefer the bullet, but you must play the game. Decide!! PS. Either option requires a great deal of eye contact, so settle in on those faces, buddy.

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That's a rather unfairly loaded question, since you're picking possibly the most unflattering picture of Renée. I'd pick Renée Zellweger, since she's still an attractive woman if you consider all of her rather than one unfortunately highlighted flaw.

 

Very rude of you, Valentine. And you know what happens to rude people...

 

hOXJ1tb.gif

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If by some circumstance you were incredibly rude to Hannibal, and then somehow realized what a mistake this was, what would you do? Try to apologize (by way of preparing him a special dish perhaps), or run very far away? 

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I'd probably run, if I could. Given that this predicates both a) having knowledge of Hannibal's true nature and b ) making the realization quick enough, I probably couldn't, though. But if I could, yes. I'd run.

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Well, I was trying to be rude hoping you'd do that, but yeah!  :3

If you could be a superhero, which one would you be and why? Just in terms of powers, not in terms of life hassles, etc.

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Probably the Green Lantern, just for the versatility. If I don't have to be a Space Cop, so much the better.

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Will you teach me how to cook something really freaking easy but really freaking tasty which I can then, in turn, teach to my girlfriend who is so bad at cooking she somehow managed to mess up boiling pasta. And then maybe I can have a night off from cooking. Just once! T_T

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Sure, I can do that. Here's how I make my pasta.

 

A few things before we start

- Cutting things isn't easy, but there's a few things you need to make it easy for you. 1) A big wooden or plastic cutting board. 2) A good, sharp (this is important) chef's knife. I use a Henckels 8 inch because it was a birthday gift, but more affordable knives are Victorinox for example. You'll want a knife that's solid, but not too heavy. (for example, my mom can't work with my knife and has a six-inch one instead). Trust me on this one - a good chef's knife will last ages if properly maintained, and the sharper it is, the easier your cutting, because you'll have to put less force on the knife. 3) Never cut your meats (if you do have to cut them) and veggies on the same board. HYGIENE, SON. 4) Practice. Lots and lots of practice. No need to rush, but get yourself into good habits - cutting it the right way slowly is better than cutting it weirdly and fast. Some tips on knives; watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV5ydwB9T4Y this. You don't need to know all the science on knives, but later in the episode there's some techniques for cutting which are useful.

- When boiling pasta, salt your water. Always salt your water. If your water doesn't taste salty before you boil it, add more salt until it does.

 

Ingredients for 2 persons (these are the proportions I use which give me leftovers for another day or two usually, so they'll do fine)

 

- One medium-sized onion

- 2/3 cloves of garlic

- One big carrot

- One can of tomatoes, whole (whatever size they come in, usually I get half a pound-ish)

- One small tin of tomato paste.

- Vegetables of your choice (zucchini, mushrooms, bell pepper, leek or whatever you feel like. Even broccoli works, as long as you cut it small enough. You can use pre-cut assembled veggie mix packs, if you don't feel like cutting everything up just yet) (Optional; a chili or two, if you like spice)

- 300-500g Ground meat. I like to use both pork and beef, but whatever is available will do. Use ground turkey if you want a lighter meal.

- 200-300g pasta of your choice, depending on your appetite

 

TO TASTE:

- Worcestersauce (usually a teaspoon or two)

- Red wine (half a glass)

- Vinegar (either wine vinegar of some sort, or balsamic if you can afford it. I use white wine vinegar most of the time. A tablespoon will do)

- Italian mix dried herbs/spices (fresh herbs are always better, but also super expensive)

- Salt & Pepper

-------

 

1) Cut up all your vegetables. Make them small, but don't puree them. Brunoise is usually fine for carrots and bell peppers. Save the onion and garlic for last. Deseed your tomatoes if you have to. (When using canned whole tomatoes, just rub the seeds out over the sink using your thumbs)

2) Start boiling your pasta water. Use the biggest pot you have, and at least double your water compared to the pasta. More room for your pasta is always better. SALT YOUR WATER.

3) Get yourself a nice big pan and put it on medium heat. Melt your butter or heat your cooking oil of choice (If you use olive oil, never use extra virgin, that's for salad dressings). Throw in your carrot, onion and garlic, add a liberal pinch of salt, stir to coat and let that go for a minute or two until it's nice and soft and smelly.

4) Add your meat, break it up, add salt and pepper, turn your stove to high heat and fry  it up until brown. Mix well with your aromatics (that's the carrot, onion and garlic). Add in your tomato paste, stir well, and fry that up for another minute to take the acid off.

5) Add in your veggies. If you don't use a mix pack, add your veggies one by one in this order, making sure each is well enough mixed and has been cooking along for a minute or so until you add the next; mushrooms, broccoli, zucchini, bell pepper, leek.

6) When your veggies have softened and mixed with the meat well enough, add your can of tomatoes (juice too, if you had to get your tomatoes out to deseed them). Add your wine, vinegar and worcester to taste (I usually throw in everything because it's yummy). Have a glass of wine while you're at it. Stir it up so that you have a nice sauce going, turn back to medium heat. Let that cook for a minute or two, then add your spices. Keep an eye on it, stirring occasionally so it doesn't burn.

7) Throw in your pasta, turn your pasta water to a medium heat. You'll never want to cook your pasta longer than 12 minutes at most. Smaller ones will only have to cook for 6-7 minutes. See if your packet of pasta has an allotted time. Use that, minus one or two minutes! Set a timer if you want. If you want to test your pasta, take out one with your fork and eat it. It should be chewy, but not hard. It's okay if it's a little bit hard though! See step 8.

8) Pour off your pasta into a colander of some sort, give it a minute to make sure it's not sticking together, then throw it into your sauce. Mix it up, turn to low heat, and let it simmer for another minute or so.

 

Done! Take your pasta off the heat, serve immediately. Grate some cheese over it if you like cheese.  If you mess this up, it's probably because you weren't paying attention, but once you get used to it and get a feel for the times involved, you can do other stuff while you're cooking too.

 

If this is too involved for you or your girlfriend, have a free cookbook with a ton of meals where the premise is 5 ingredients, 10 minutes. http://thestonesoup.com/blog/images/free_stonesoup_ecookbook.pdf Doesn't get much simpler than this.

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Thanks ill try it out. Im not too shabby at cooking, my brothers a chef so hes taught me a few things. The trouble is im a terrible teacher and get rather impatient when trying to teach my gf. Often I end up taking over which isn't helpful in the long run.

There is also the issue that she gets a bit stabby with knifey things!

So what was the last thing you ate?

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Is it possible to make your own stock out of leftover beef bones, and if so, how would you do it?

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Is it possible to make your own stock out of leftover beef bones, and if so, how would you do it?

 

For sure! (This method also works for chicken carcasses)

 

Generally what you want to do is get both leftover bones and some extra meat, like chuck steak or whatever. Get yourself some carrot and onion, drizzle with olive oil, and roast all of that in the oven for like half an hour/45 minutes, turning them halfway. Then chuck all of that in the biggest pot you have. Rinse your oven pan with a bit of warm water and scrape up all the stuck flavor-y brown bits and put that in too. Throw in a bay leaf or two, some whole (but peeled) garlic cloves, whole thyme and parsley sprigs, and some chopped up celery. Cover everything with water and boil it. Once it's boiling, turn your heat alllll the way down to a low simmer, and keep that up for anywhere between 3 and 8 hours (longer is better), but don't stir. What you do want to do is occasionally (like maybe every hour or so) check the progress, and skim any scum and floating fat off the top. Scum is the cloudy vaguely colored residue that contains fats and other things and if you leave it in, your stock will get bitter. Throw this away. (Not down the drain, it'll clog your pipes)

 

When that's done, strain your stock through the finest sieve you have (a cheesecloth is ideal) into another big pot. Let that cool to room temperature, then chill in the fridge. Once that's done, you can do two things - a) use immediately anywhere between right then and four days after, or b ) take the chilled fat off the top and freeze it in jars or plastic containers. If using jars, don't fill it all the way to the top or your jar will break when the stock expands during freezing. What I prefer, though, is keeping some at hand and pouring it over ice-cube trays, so that you can just pop out a stock-cube or two and use as necessary for flavor, rather than using an entire jar, because you're not always going to make soup or stew.

 

Why are you called Wahad?

 

I saw the name in a book once and liked it, so I started using it online. Later I found out that it means one or someone in Arabic, specifically in the Algerian dialect.

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I saw the Hannibal talk in here and ffffffff yessssss.

 

I too love to cook and I also, like Blackfrost, do the majority of the cooking (and all of the baking and meal planning). But not for the same reasons. My partner can cook, he just doesn't have much of what I call a 'kitchen attention span'.

 

So, is there anything you love to eat that you just dislike making because the process is just a pain in the ass? And if not, what is your absolute favourite dessert in the cosmos?

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Nope! Cooking is the prime joy in my life. I mean, you probably won't see me making a Canard à la Presse or anything with molecular gastronomy anytime soon, but I mean, that's a given, since I don't have the equipment for it. I'd make that stuff in a heartbeat if I could. The only restriction to my weekly menu is budget, pretty much.

 

As far as desserts go, I don't actually have that big of a sweet tooth, so I tend to pick more simple desserts most of the time, if I get to pick (instead of doing a chef's choice menu or w/e). Some nice, ripe fresh fruit will do just fine. Or a cup of well-done coffee.

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I don't have much of a sweet tooth either, preferring instead to sate my hunger on real food. The taste of sugar puts me off... but I do like making desserts for others, because it makes them happy. I'm also restricted by budget... and often, time (but time can be bent in a number of ways).

 

Electric coffeepot or french press?

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My question, Wahad sir, is a two-parter.

 

Are you afraid of heights? If so, ignore the second part. If not....If you could, would you be willing to don the 3D Maneuver Gear from Attack on Titan and go flying through the trees killing giants? 

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No, and no.

 

I'd use the 3D gear to run the hell away rather than killing giants. Let Levi or Mikasa kill them.

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I like Colombian a lot. And for how ridiculously expensive it is, Kopi Luwak sure is delicious enough to make up for it. But Javan coffee is probably still my favorite.

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