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HerculeHastings

HELIX Concert, Tickets Selling Fast!

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HELIX∞, recent clincher of Oricon's top spot, has arrived in Surreality as his first stop in his HELIX 2014 World Tour! Together with his bandmates, the charming HELIX will be touring the site for 1 week before his concert performance on the 8th of March, after which he may stay on for the rest of the month, depending on his schedule, before moving on to his next stop at 4chan.

 

The friendly HELIX will also be sitting down to an exclusive interview with S*T's cutest reporter, Holly Hearts, on 4th March.

 

There will also be a handshake session with HELIX for fans to meet and shake HELIX's hand on 14th March. Fans can also talk to him during this time, and he will answer all their questions!

 

In the meantime, the adventurous HELIX has expressed keenness to try out all the things that S*T has to offer.

 

"I do love travelling," he admits in an email to Holly, "and I've always wanted to come meet my fans on S*T. There's a girl here, named Daysie, who sends me birthday greetings every year, and has written so many emails asking me to come over. I'm so happy to be well-known overseas as well. And I'm intent on trying this activity on S*T called 'roleplaying'. It sounds like tons of fun. I'll do my best in it!"

 

Tickets are selling fast to his Surreality concert! Get them now!

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*looks around smugly*

 

I have already got my tickets during the official fan club exclusive pre-sale. I bought 5 tickets in the seated section so that I can sit with two empty chairs either side of me, creating a weird gap that will draw HELIX ∞'s attention to me!

 

Now time to spam Holly with emails and phone calls and explicit threats to get her to ask the questions I want her to!

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How much is one ticket? (not that I'm interested in buying one or anything...)

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1 ticket will cost a meagre price of 25 000 to 30 000 yen. That translates to $311.27 to $373.53 Sing dollars.

 

This is identical to my colleague SID's ticketing prices for their Tokyo concert in May. A girl named HH is crying somewhere.

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Well, I suppose I could afford a ticket... Not that I'm buying it for any strange reasons! I just want to see what's all the hype about these concerts are, that's all. Humph.

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Obviously, the culture of the future has degraded into an unending morass of 140-character tweets regurgitating an original idea first uttered seventy years before, billions of near-identical Doge macros and six-second Vine videos of people's dongs. That is why she treasures our cultural heritage so, for the civilization of her time has long since lost it.

 

What a depressing future.

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In the future, SERN has already gained dominance over 95% of the world, suppressing the free expression of art and music in order to accelerate their own scientific advances. Most of my generation has grown up without having attended a single music lesson in their life.

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In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only doge.

 

Sorry. I mean...

 

RlO0Pw0.jpg

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Actually, it's more like this...

 

BbQ2wt9IUAAo80_.jpg

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Good eeeevening everyone! I'm Holly Hearts and with me today is someone I'm sure you all recognise without any introduction. This is the singer from Japan, HELIX!

 

*waves* Minasan konbanwa! HELIX desu! Ima hajimete Surreality e kite, ikagetsu tomarimasu. Tanoshimi! Naisu tsu miitsu yuu. Retsu habu faan tsugeza!

 

So, HELIX, I'm sure your fans are dying to know so much about you! So first question, what do you think of Surreality so far?

 

Surreality is such a great place! It's so clean, and has such warm people, and all these fun things to do. I hope to try roleplaying, and trying out the mafia games. If I had a choice I'd live here forever!

 

HELIX, what kind of girl do you like? This is for all the ladies out there! *wink*

 

Ahhhh, hahaha. I like girls who are caring, and virtuous, and have good womanly qualities. Appearance is not a factor, but a good heart is all that matters~.

 

What do you usually do in your free time?

 

Oh, I love fishing once in a while. It's a serene activity that allows you to contemplate. I also do a bit of workouts at the gym, to stay healthy. And I love chatting with my friends on the internet too.

 

What would you say is your musical style?

 

I believe that the starting point of my music is always expressing a message. I've something I want to tell the world, and I write it into song. This is why all my songs are made with sincerity. The genre is of course rock, and my songs tend to be about the irony of the human existence, about social issues I've seen around my homeland, and so on. I hope all of you enjoy it.

 

And last of all, what would you bring to your fans during your concert?

 

Oh, my fans will be treated to some of my classic songs and also a few new ones. The venue is quite spectacular and so I'm quite excited to be there. There'll be a visual spectacle and some excellent stage design, so please don't miss it!

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Oh~ A concert here. I wonder if Mari will go with me~ I hope Mineral Miracle Muse being present wouldn't cause any fuss~ I wouldn't want to ruin things for Helix-sempai~

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Duraaaa dum dura dura durummm!

Ahem *clears throat*

I, the Great Kyokomori-sama, must be granted ownership of the Great Seal of Safe Passage so that I may seek audience with the Dark Bard Helix in order to face him in glorious battle, death! It is a future already decided by fate, death! To deny the Great Kyokomori will bring forth the untold agony of my Mighty Mjolnir Maul! The weapon that makes men meet their death!

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There'll be a visual spectacle

 

Duh, we already knew it would be you performing~

 

 

Oh~ A concert here. I wonder if Mari will go with me~ I hope Mineral Miracle Muse being present wouldn't cause any fuss~ I wouldn't want to ruin things for Helix-sempai~

 

Why would nobodies cause a fuss for a visionary megastar?

 

Anyone in music who isn't HELIX∞ is really just doing it wrong.

 

I, the Great Kyokomori-sama, must be granted ownership of the Great Seal of Safe Passage so that I may seek audience with the Dark Bard Helix in order to face him in glorious battle, death! It is a future already decided by fate, death! To deny the Great Kyokomori will bring forth the untold agony of my Mighty Mjolnir Maul! The weapon that makes men meet their death!

 

You better not ruin the meet and greet with your nonsense. My whole life has lead to this fated moment, and if anyone ruins it... I'll make sure they meet death. *crazed twitching grin*

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The stage darkens. Fans start screaming. Throbbing music and bright lights erupt as HELIX emerges on the stage. The concert has begun!

 

[all songs are *ahem* original compositions]

 

First song: Kokoro ga Itai

 

[translated lyrics; incomplete due to copyright issues with HELIX's recording company]

 

The light of the evening... shining through my window... illuminating the room in yellow hues

 

"Let's walk towards our future... individually," you say to me. We both try to keep a grin on our face.

 

Why does my heart hurt so? Could it be... but you're not here... and you'll never be anymore.

 

For a while now it's been hurting... will it ever stop?

 

One day I discovered... that I have left my heart in the past... thinking it is the future...

 

I am tired... so are you... maybe it is alright... to let go now.

 

Let my heart just keep on hurting.

 

Second song: The Song of an Artist

 

Eyes... all looking, prying, at my insides...

 

You point a finger... decoding my every stroke... unravelling every thread that forms the masterpiece

 

Why this colour? Why this shape?

 

Even I do not know.

 

What were you thinking when you produced that?

 

Who are you anyway?

 

The pain of the world courses through me... into my paintbrush...

 

I dip my soul into the palette... paint over my lies

 

I paint my life away.

 

Third song: the Outsider Woman

 

Will you call again tonight? I cry into my pillow.

 

The taste of the coffee still stays in my mouth. It was very bitter. You didn't like sugar.

 

And gradually I've learnt to get used to the bitterness.

 

We couldn't finish talking; your phone had rung to signal the time for me to disappear.

 

I leave my half-drunk coffee behind.

 

The real woman comes to replace me. You deftly, skilfully move the coffee to your side.

 

I walk out in the heavy rain.

 

Gradually I've learnt to get used to the bitterness.

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*is passed out somewhere from the awesomeness, and from lack of air since it's hard to breathe when screaming constantly*

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A fortnight before his flight to the next stop of his world tour, HELIX is opening the floor to questions! Ask him anything! Come up and shake his hand!

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*queues up to shake HELIX's hand*

*has a skin sample extractor on her palm*

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I feel rather out of place here. I'm not sure who this Helix person is. You with crazy stalker eyes. What is this all about?

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HELIX is the world-famous Japanese singer! I can't believe you haven't heard of him!

 

 

(that is, someone is roleplaying a fictional singer here for gender-swap month, and I am roleplaying his fictional fangirl)

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Really now? I've never met a singer before. Erm, I mean a famous one at least. I sing after all, but not famously. Anyway, that's kinda cool. 

 

(Ya don't say!)

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