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shelmii

Understanding the language of a female

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As I've indicated before language is a beautiful thing. Often times we take it for granted and don't quite realize what it does for us. I remember watching a short documentary about a woman who was never taught language. When she spoke, or attempted to speak, she merely mumbled little sounds her brain managed to pick up from around her. In other words, no one on earth, it seems, could communicate with her. Along with that, she was alone.

This was a bit freaky to me considering her lack in communication and the fact that it benefited her in no way possible. She couldn't tell others who her family was, her descendants, relatives. There was no way for her to send forth a message comprehensible by another being. Which in turn also meant she wasn't a good candidate to teach language to either. How does one learn another language? Through translation, through a language familiar to them. It's how you learn anything. This woman on the other hand had no way to speak, comprehend, understand.

I think there is one way though and it obviously consists of actions, pictures and physical ways to display a message instead of sending one verbally. If she wanted to learn how to ride a bike, she could watch someone do it and essentially attain the knowledge.

Using our hands, legs, expressions, bodies, and mouths. Language comes in all shapes, sounds and characters. It's merely a way to send a message.

So, my question(s) is(are): Why can't I understand these "messages" from women?

Why can't they just tell it like it is in their minds?

Why do I constantly get dissed when I don't understand?

Does this make me an idiot or a guy just not sensitive enough to comprehend these non-straightforward "messages"?

What should I do to be able to understand?

Should I travel the world in search of telepathic powers in order to better understand?

This was totally not misleading at all.

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The only way around this is to travel to a distant mountain in Nepal to learn from the great gurus about telepathy.

This is when you realize everyone around you is secretly a morally bankrupt, perverted pig in human clothing and decide to move up to the top of a mountain in Nepal to get away from them all, replacing the mountain's previous guru who disappeared into nirvana. It's a vicious cycle.

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Have you gone on this trip then? /takes notes/

But... Why?

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Last time I tried, the hermit guru punted me off the mountain because I was, to quote, "totally throwin' off my chakra alignment, man". So... Not really.

If I knew 'why', I'd already be on top of a mountain too.

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From what I know, the main language of women is screaming, squealing and hyperventilating.

 

That said, I know quite a good bit about them since they're my main audience (and they give such great monetary appreciation). A man must be kind and gentle to women, and be sensitive to their needs. This is how we should treat them.

 

That said, I do believe there's no way to truly understand them. You can only try to connect with them through song.

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Women are like a musical instrument. Sometimes your lips need to do the talking, sometimes your feet, and sometimes even your strength gets called into question. But no matter what, your fingers are always all over her. You gotta play a woman like a fine grand piano~ Play well, and she will sound divine.

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Meh. There are more interesting things to life than getting laid. If you really want to pass on your genetics, sign up as a sperm donor. Gives you time to do the things that matter more.

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Jenna Marbles, a goddess in her own right! And also fucking hilarious. She's quite colorful in her choice of words, you've been warned.

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Meh. There are more interesting things to life than getting laid. If you really want to pass on your genetics, sign up as a sperm donor. Gives you time to do the things that matter more.

My good sir. If you become a sperm donor, you're just handing over the bullets and resigning the gun to a life of darkness in your pants. Women need pleasure from a man every now and again. Or pleasure from a woman or plastic/rubber/glass/electronic object. It's just how they roll.

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I'm hardly interested in something that has nothing in it for me but whiny brats.

There are much more pressing issues that demand my attention.

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Whose having sex to make babies here? I know I'm not.

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Jenna marbles is awesome.

Yea, I've never gotten laid, but it's probably because I don't really need to to survive?

All I wanna know is why it's so hard to comprehend women sometimes.. Maybe it revolves around attaining telepathic powers. I wonder why Drawfag decided to go so far to attain this power?

Could it be she doesn't know the language of her own kind?

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Little fans squealing over the all-idealistically-perfect made over males under heavy contracts of the big money companies who know how to wet those panties know exactly what's up. XD

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I sought not the power of telepathy to learn the enigmatic ciphers of the fairer sex. I sought the power so I could cheat at strip poker, of course.

 

I mean, is there any other reason to learn to read minds?

 

Fufufufufu~

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In other words, drawfag enjoys strip-tease and will go so far as to play a game for the opportunity to flash her unfortunate opponents.

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Why not? Them jigglies aren't doing much in their shirt.

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When talking about the opposite gender.. I've noticed sex is most always a hot topic.

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In other words, drawfag enjoys strip-tease and will go so far as to play a game for the opportunity to flash her unfortunate opponents.

In other words I managed to comprehend.. Drawfag wants me. Therefore she attained telepathy just to know what I want /wiggles eyebrows/

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When talking about the opposite gender.. I've noticed sex is most always a hot topic.

 

You don't say? 

 

 

In other words, drawfag enjoys strip-tease and will go so far as to play a game for the opportunity to flash her unfortunate opponents.

 

Nonsense.Defeating others by cheating at strip poker is merely my elaborate plan to liberate mankind of their clothing, one article at a time, in my crusade against the conformist tyranny of COVERS. 

 

It is not at all an ill-advised attempt to see manly abs.

 

MciZJLL.gif

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Keep in mind, I wasn't aiming at specifically that while creating this post. I just assumed the ladies could provide me of some insight to their world.. Is all.

I still don't understand how you'd use a feet to handle women....

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I still don't understand how you'd use a feet to handle women....

Step on them. <3

 

Like so:

EmRQKU0.jpg

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That reminds me... I really should have finished that anime.

 

Battle royales over half-priced bento is, like, the third most stupid but awesome premise I've heard of.

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